This Week in Apple: Bad company, ’til the day I die

Xcode gets more AI-y, Tim Cook gets a questionable feather in his cap, and Apple slows its roll on AI in the Health app.

You can’t spell “Xcode” without “AI”

Apple’s big announcement this week was a new version of Xcode, now with that special AI sauce all the programmers crave.

Apple announces Xcode 26.3 with agentic AI integration

Xcode will now be able to test and build a project over and over, fixing errors as it goes, until it compiles successfully. With access to the full documentation and APIs, the system will be able to evaluate all your dinguses for complete flangibility. For example, any calls to confabulators will be recognized as such and alternative options for loungeable gimble stack efficiency will be presented in descending order of concurrent static resistance.

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Yeah, I don’t know anything about programming but this sounds neat?

This is Tim

Congrats to Tim “Big Deals” Cook for joining the elite group of Silicon Valley executives who appeared in the Epstein files!…