The Back Page: Liquidity crisis

After a long summer of discontent, Apple released its latest operating system updates earlier this month, and the result has been RAGE! PANIC! RIOTING IN THE STREETS!

Wait, sorry, just checked, apparently that’s… Portland? That can’t be right.

The frustration over Liquid Glass has now reportedly reached fever pitch, hitting the point where users cannot accomplish the simplest of daily tasks, due to their simmering levels of anger. “Have you noticed the text on this button is misaligned by two pixels?” said one user. “I can’t even bring myself to click it, I’m so annoyed.”

While it may be tempting to gloss over these incidents¹, the broad impact can’t be overstated: users driven to distraction have caused, by some accounts, a 47 percent drop in the US’s GDP since the new operating systems’ release, and the number of people admitted to emergency rooms for trips, falls, and walking into traffic while swearing at their phone is at an all-time high.…