By Dan Moren
April 30, 2025 11:55 AM PT
The Back Page: That’s why they call it money
It’s time again for your favorite part of the quarter: financial results!1
Yes, Apple is once again poised to report how much cash it will be pouring into the Scrooge McDuck vault concealed under Apple Park’s Rainbow Stage2. Fun fact: it’s the only company that reports its quarterly earnings in cubic feet.
While I may not be a Financial Wizard™, I have been following these results for almost two decades, so I’m going to bring some insight to bear on what to look for as the company, in the words of Tim Cook, “makes it rain.” Here are five key takeaways to keep your eyes on.
It’s tariffic: Everybody’s going to want to know what Cook and company are doing to prepare for the administration’s on-again/off-again/on-again/we-were-on-a-break tariffs. It’s hard to prepare with that kind of volatility, so I expect the company to respond in the only logical fashion: by consulting our country’s most accurate and trustworthy forecaster.
International geographic: Speaking of tariff back and forths, I have to imagine one key element of this quarter’s call is going to be talking about how the company plans to shift production for U.S.-bound iPhones and other products to a country less affected by tariffs, presumably one that our president admires greatly, like, I dunno, Latveria, probably.3
Late-breaking intelligence: The financial markets have been salivating like they’re preparing for bottomless shrimp at Red Lobster over the prospect of Apple finally shoving AI into every single product it makes. But now that the company has delayed its final Apple Intelligence features, will those markets be as disappointed as one is upon reaching the bottom of the bottomless shrimp? And are there more cheddar biscuits? I really need to stop writing these before lunch.
Know when to fold ’em: The iPhone is still Apple’s cash cow, and though it might only be May, it’s never too early to suss out what the company’s planning for not only this year’s model, but more importantly, next year. Analysts will be listening carefully to the audio stream to see if they can hear any indication that Apple is indeed working on a foldable iPhone. Was that Tim folding a piece of paper? Is that a sign? BUY BUY BUY.
Putting the ‘Mac’ in ‘macro’: Apple will no doubt be talking about the macroeconomic environment because everything is the macro environment and the macro environment is everything. Expect to hear plenty about foreign currency exchange rates, the strength of the dollar, and what that means for Apple’s true numbers. And we’ll almost certainly hear about headwinds, which is a real shame, because those are really slowing down Tim Cook’s yacht.
- Unless you are self-employed, in which case, it’s time again for your least favorite part of the quarter: estimated taxes! It’s similar, but much worse because the money only goes the wrong way. ↩
- Because it’s at the end of the rainbow. Get it? Get it? ↩
- Sorry, Vladimir, you’re out. It’s all about Victor now. ↩
[Dan Moren is the East Coast Bureau Chief of Six Colors, as well as an author, podcaster, and two-time Jeopardy! champion. You can find him on Mastodon at @dmoren@zeppelin.flights or reach him by email at dan@sixcolors.com. His next novel, the sci-fi adventure Eternity's Tomb, will be released in November 2026.]