This Week in Apple: The piñata of Apple rumors
Apple releases some new entertainment, Gruber takes on Gurman, and Apple gets set to move all those things from where you’ve come to expect them to be.
Here we are now, entertain us
Good news for you Vision Pro owners out there: the Vision Pro is still a product in Apple’s lineup! As such, the company continues to churn out new experiences for the platform, to distract you from the unbearable weight of existential ennui that is part and parcel of the human experience.
This week Apple released an immersive concert experience featuring Metallica, which many users have praised despite it featuring, you know, Metallica.
Another product still in Apple’s lineup is Apple Arcade. Such a household name is Apple Arcade that I had to look it up because I kept thinking of Game Center, although I did at least know that wasn’t right.
Apple announced some fantastic new games for the platform like, uh, Rollercoaster Tycoon Classic, Katamari Damacy, Space Invaders, The Game of Life…
OK, OK. Still, they’re new to Apple Arcade.
And finally, while not much of a surprise, Ted Lasso has officially been renewed for a fourth season. Creator and star Jason Sudeikis even dropped some tidbits about the plot for the upcoming season and I don’t want to give away too much but it involves soccer.
Apple bloggers gone wild
We now turn to the world of inside baseball. Except instead of baseball it’s Apple blogging.
It has not gone unnoticed by many in the Apple community that Daring Fireball’s John Gruber has been needling Bloomberg reporter Mark Gurman of late. In the last few weeks, Gruber has pointed out that Gurman was wrong about the processor in the new base iPad, seems to get much of his information from Apple media briefings, was wrong several times about Apple’s cellular modem, was late on the story about Apple next OSes featuring big design changes and — and this is a direct quote, you can go find it on Daring Fireball — “hangs his toilet paper in an improper underhand fashion”. (DISCLAIMER: not an actual quote, you will not find it on Daring Fireball.
(Yet, anyway.)
None of this is incorrect, it is just a palpable trend of late.
Now Gruber has taken to the airwaves to blast some company, not sure if you’ve heard of it, it’s new to me, lemme just take a look here at the name…
Apple.
It’s apparently one of those new AI companies because Gruber is taking it to task over making wild claims about what its AI offering would soon be able to do and then failing to make good on those promises.
“Something Is Rotten in the State of Cupertino”
While I have never shared characterizations of Gruber as an “Apple apologist”, let us just say that this is still a bit of a departure for him. Clearly, he thinks something is amiss with the silicon and bits mill’s AI efforts and suggests that Steve Jobs would have flipped some tables by this point.
As if to tie things up with a neat bow, Mark Gurman reported this morning that Apple’s Siri chief said at an all-hands meeting that the delays of the more conversational Siri were “embarrassing” and “ugly”. But he still reportedly praised his team without making any noticeable table adjustments.
Oh, no
In case you missed it tucked into the previous section, the rumor that iOS 19 will feature a huge design change, perhaps the biggest redesign since iOS 7, is in full swing.
iOS 7. Everyone loved that, right? Ah, yes, it was universally adored, as I recall.
It must be a sign of the times because what once would have been very exciting has seemed to be met as the equivalent of a trip to the ol’ butt doctor. Not that a trip to a young butt doctor is much better but, oof, old Dr. Crumble? I mean, have you ever looked at the diploma on his wall? It says it’s from “The Wilkes-Barre, PA, Correspondence School of Proctology (A Non-Accredited Institute of Adjacent Learning)”. It doesn’t even say “higher learning”! It says “adjacent”! What does that even mean?!
Perhaps responding to the audible groaning, John Gruber points out that while these changes can be polarizing, sometimes you gotta take a swing at things.
He should know. He’s taken enough swings at Mark Gurman. Hey-ohhh.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]