By John Moltz
November 22, 2024 2:00 PM PT
This Week in Apple: There’s nothing good on
Apple reportedly considers going where it never went before as it gains the attention of yet another government watchdog. And then, are you ready for a smarter Siri? Well, don’t worry if you’re not, it’s still years away.
Gene Munster’s revenge
Time is a flat circle much in the way an Apple television would be a flat screen.
“It’s 2009 Again: Apple is Apparently Reconsidering Making a TV”
Definitely put this in the “I’ll believe it when I see it” category but I think I’m slightly more amenable to the idea now than I was 15 years ago because of stuff like this:
“An ad giant wants to run your next TV’s operating system”
So, I’m paying $16 and up a month each to Disney, Max, Apple, Netflix, Hulu and whoever else happens to have a show that someone in the house wants to watch… and my TV wants to see what I’m watching and show me ads on top of that.
Well, joke’s on them because I never connect my TVs to the internet! You can’t catch me, advertising companies, I’m like the wind!
Even if Apple made a privacy forward television with the Apple TV part baked into it, would it have enough HDMI ports? Could anyone afford it? And what would it be called? You already used “Apple TV”!
Television hasn’t always been a big winner for Apple. Bloomberg reports that Apple will start licensing some of its movies to other services in order to defray costs. That might help but it’s a beginner move, Apple. Everyone knows the big money is in making movies and then never showing them anywhere ever. Get with the program. Which is, oddly, deprogramming things.
The Bank of Apple
There are a lot of things that a younger me would find surprising were I able to time-travel back 20 years.
A tragically high number, really.
Right in the middle there — somewhere between the horrible state of national affairs and the amazing state of 3D home printing — would be “Oh, yeah, by the way, Apple’s a bank now.”
“Apple will now be treated like a bank, says US Consumer Financial Protection Bureau”
Younger me: “Do… do they still make computers?”
The company mostly has Apple Pay to thank for its newfound ability to pull off wearing a top hat and a monocle while reading a copy of The Wall Street Journal, chewing on the stub of a cigar, and murmuring “Hrmm. Ahhh. Mmm-hmm. Yes, quite. Pork bellies.”
The CFPB recently took on looking over technology firms that handle more than 50 million transactions per year using digital payments, which means both Apple Pay and Google Pay.
50 million sounds like a lot but I bet at least 500,000 of them are mine.
Siri 2: Electric Boogaloo.
If you’ve been holding your breath until Apple ships a much-improved Siri… well, you’re probably dead. Still, don’t start now because it’s still two years away.
“Apple Working on ‘LLM Siri’ for 2026 Launch”
2026? No, no, that’s cool. Take your time.
Apple is working on a smarter version of Siri…
[turns to camera, raises one eyebrow]
Huge, if true.
The new system will take a two-tiered approach to satisfying you needy customers.
…Apple will use a first-generation Apple LLM to evaluate requests to determine whether the existing Siri infrastructure should be used, or if a second LLM that’s able to handle more complex requests should be queried.
This is great. Now when you have a problem with Siri, you can ask to speak with its manager.
While Siri will be previewed early, Apple does not intend to launch the update until several months after it is unveiled.
AI is always six months away from being really awesome.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]