The Back Page: Chaaaarge!

Who’s ready for some collective outrage? I’ve asked Ernesto, my incomparable penguin valet¹, to fire up the Semi-Perpetual Rage Machine that we keep in the basement for just such an eventuality.

With what shall we fuel this diabolical machine? Nothing less than the most powerful emotional trigger in the entire technology industry. Okay, besides, AI stealing human jobs and appropriating creative work. Well, yes, there’s also crypto currency. And…you know…everything Elon Musk does. Okay, let’s say top ten: new charging cables.

The horror, etc. etc.

Apple is poised to once again, as it has every year decade, change the port on the iPhone. This—this—is why I have The Hague on speed dial.²

The self-same capriciousness and callous disregard that led to Apple abandoning SCSI in <checks notes> 1999 has struck again.

I think we can all agree that Apple hit the pinnacle of connector design with 2012’s Lightning port: it was fast, it was small, and it was symmetrical!…