By Dan Moren
October 31, 2019 10:00 AM PT
The Back Page: Transcript of the annual meeting of the Apple Department of Misinformation
Is everybody here? Good. First off, I want to begin by congratulating all of you on another excellent quarter. People have been tripping over themselves expecting an October surprise right up until the very last moment this month, and it’s all because of the hard work by each and every one of you. Sustaining that level of feverish anticipation is not easy, and you should all be very proud of yourselves.
Now, there are a few special efforts that I’d like to call out, people who’ve really gone above and beyond the call of duty. Janice! Are you here? Would you stand up?
Janice is our project lead on the 16-inch MacBook Pro Disinformation Initiative, which we’ve codenamed “the Holy Grail.” We’ve been working on this one for a long time, carefully plying analysts and supply chain sources with tantalizing details about a bigger laptop, and it has paid off in spades.…