By Dan Moren
August 31, 2019 10:19 AM PT
The Back Page: Proper care of your Apple Card
Congratulations on your new Apple Card. We know you’ll enjoy the easy-to-read transaction history, simple billing interface, and Daily Cash. Enclosed, please find your physical Apple Card for use with merchants who don’t currently support Apple Pay.
The Apple Card is machined from a single slab of responsibly sourced titanium, then carefully coated with a multi-layer coating process to achieve a finish inspired by the keys of the Steinway Grand Piano presented to President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1938.
In order to keep your Apple Card looking as immaculate as the day it was delivered to you, there are a few very simple precautionary measures you can take. Store your Apple Card in a pocket, wallet, or bag made of a soft material, such as satin or crushed velvet. Place your Apple Card in its own slot in your wallet so it is not touching another card. Contact with other cards can scratch the Apple Card’s finish, tainting it and lowering your credit limit and, eventually, self-worth.
Don’t place the Apple Card near magnets, as it may cause them to spontaneously reverse polarity, which could result in anything stuck to your fridge flying off at dangerous speeds. Do not store Apple Card in a pocket or bag with loose change or keys or other potentially abrasive objects, such as lint. Do not let the Apple Card come into contact with any items made of brushed aluminum, stainless steel, glass, or fluroelastomer, as the results may be unpredictable. Do not touch the Apple Card without gloves. Do not hand it to anybody not wearing gloves. Avoid using the Apple Card in ways that may incur scratches, such as inserting, removing, and swiping.
Certain materials may cause permanent discoloration of the Apple Card. Do not store the Apple Card in denim, leather, pleather, vinyl, nylon, linen, acrylic, polyester, wool, cotton, rayon, spandex, kevlar, neoprene, sateen, lace, silk, fleece, flannel, Gore-Tex, or oobleck. The Apple Card is water-resistant up to 30 meters for 30 minutes, but do not immerse the Apple Card in water or allow the Apple Card to come in contact with airborne pollutants such as methane, carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, or nitrogen.
Should you need to clean your Apple Card, moisten an Apple Authorized microfiber cloth with water from the purest mountain springs and gently blot—DO NOT WIPE—the card. For persistent stains, substitute San Pellegrino mineral water only. If stains persist for more than four hours, consult a physician.
Should you need a replacement card, one will be issued to you for $99. If you have added Apple Card Apple Care+ to your purchase, you may replace a scratched card three times within a year for a cost of $29 per incident. Good luck, and thank you for signing up for Apple Card!1
- Terms and conditions apply. Warranty does not apply to physical use of Apple Card. By opening the box, you certify that you agree to our privacy policy, all terms and conditions, binding arbitration, and the delivery of your first born to Apple Park upon their birth or the age of thirteen, whichever occurs first after you take possession of the Apple Card. Void where prohibited. ↩
[Dan Moren is the East Coast Bureau Chief of Six Colors. You can find him on Twitter at @dmoren or reach him by email at dan@sixcolors.com. The latest novel in his Galactic Cold War series of sci-fi space adventures, The Nova Incident, is available now.]