This Week in Apple: No bad ideas

MacRumors makes a bold claim, OpenAI has delusions of grandeur, and Apple manufactures another record quarter.

Rumor malfunction

Stick a fork in your Vision Pro because it’s done! It’ll void your warranty, but that doesn’t matter anymore. MacRumors says:

“Apple Has Given Up on the Vision Pro After M5 Refresh Flop”

[sound of 12 people rending their garments]

Now… hang on a second. Are we supposed to believe that the smart people at Apple speed-bumped the Vision Pro and then, when it didn’t sell like hotcakes you put on your face, they decided to give up on it? Because that sounds not right in several ways.

Say what you want about the Vision Pro—like it’s overpriced, too heavy, too niche a product, it doesn’t have enough experiences, those eyes are weird, it’s socially unacceptable to wear a big honkin’ thing on your fa—hey, hey, hey, alright already, we get it! I was being rhetorical when I said “say what you want”.…