This Week in Apple: The red shirt diaries

An Apple event may be nigh as the company shakes up its organization. Apple’s so busy, no wonder it needs to lie down!

One day in October

The calendar on the wall says it’s October which means it is or it could be or it might be or maybe even isn’t time for a less exciting Apple event! Aren’t you less excited? I know I am.

Rumors indicated Apple could be set to announce a blockluster (sic) lineup including the following:

• M5-based iPad Pros. WARNING: standing between them and the power outlet could void the warranty. Your warranty. I may have picked the wrong year to be a Star Trek red shirt for Halloween.
• A faster HomePod mini with support for an as-yet-to-be-delivered conversational Siri, thrilling thousands of customers.
• A faster Apple TV with support for an as-yet-to-be-delivered conversational Siri, thrilling hundreds of customers.
• A faster Vision Pro, thrilling Carl.
• Updated AirTags, thrilling no one.