By John Moltz

This Week in Apple: The waiting is the hardest part

iPhone 17s begin to arrive as fresh rumors hit the mill and one iPhone’s sales performance seems a little thin.

Out for delivery

Happy delivery day to all who celebrate! Just know that at any minute I may step away from writing this column if I hear a knock at t-

…

…

Sorry, that was just some kid selling cookies. I shooed her away. NOT NOW, ADORABLE MUNCHKINS, OLD MAN MOLTZ HAS BUSINESS WITH UPS.

Anyway, where was I? Oh! New iPhones are here today and if you’re getting one you’re getting Liquid Glass whether you like it or not. And many seemingly don’t.

“iOS 26’s Liquid Glass Design Draws Criticism From Users”

Well, of course there are always going to be some who-

“iOS 26 Liquid Glass Design Makes App Icons Look Crooked, Report Users”

OK. OK. Just… one at a time.

This is not completely new territory for Apple as pinstripes were not exactly universally praised. At least so far no one is complaining about iOS 26 looking too feminine, like some did about iOS 7. (Yes, that happened.) Both of those designs were subsequently refined, toned down, walked back, 86-ed, whatever you want to call it, until the OSes were maybe more bland but also worked better. That will surely happen with Liquid Glass.

Unless Apple’s Alan Dye has simply gone mad with power. I guess that’s also a possibility.

Perpetual motion machine

Anyway, why are you even talking about the iPhone 17 and iOS 26? Those are so… this morning. Except for me because I’m at the end of the UPS run and won’t get my phone until like 6PM when I’m making dinner for my family and won’t even be able to open it until later when I’m tired and just want to go bed. Or, hey, maybe UPS has too many deliveries and won’t be able to finish their run so I won’t even get it until tomorrow because that’s also happened. But I won’t get it first thing! No, I’ll still be at the end of the UPS run even though they didn’t finish the previous day’s run so everyone else will be getting all their garbage orders for stuff they probably don’t even need from The Sharper Image or The Container Store or some other dumb place before I get the thing I was supposed to get yesterday, NOT THAT I’M BITTER ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

What was I saying?

“iPhone 18 Pro and Pro Max Design Rumors: Translucent MagSafe Area, Display Sizes, and More”

Thank you, copy/paste buffer. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Yes, Apple may have shipped new phones today, but what has it done for us lately? (No, I said “for” us, not “against” us.) It’s time to put down your iPhone 17 and start to think about the iPhone 18. The Apple rumor mill marches ever forward toward… victory? I dunno. Something.

OK, fine, you can play with your iPhone 17 for a while longer, but I must insist that you think about this:

“Kuo: OLED MacBook Pro to Feature Touch Screen Display”

Five minutes after Apple delivers iPad windowing.

Kuo says that the shift “appears to reflect Apple’s long-term observation of iPad user behavior, indicating that in certain scenarios, touch controls can enhance both productivity and the overall user experience.”

I mean, I guess. Whether my MacBook gets a touch screen or not, I need you to know one thing: if you try to press your oily-assed finger against my MacBook’s screen I will bite your finger. I’m not gonna draw blood or anything, but you are definitely going to feel it.

Just so we’re clear on that.

Hashtag fail

Every year around this time two things arrive before you want them to. One is pumpkin spice flavor and the other is estimates of iPhone sales performance.

“Kuo: High Demand for iPhone 17 Models, But Questions Remain About iPhone Air”

…Kuo said that preorder demand for the ‌iPhone 17‌ lineup has outpaced last year’s iPhone 16 models.

The iPhone Air, meanwhile, was still readily available for pre-order when Kuo checked. (Indeed, as of this writing you can get an iPhone Air on Monday the 22nd but the iPhone 17 isn’t available until October 3rd.)

In the past this would have been enough to launch a million thought pieces on how Apple has lost its edge and is doomed to fade away. Maybe people still write those pieces, but fortunately it doesn’t seem like anyone reads them anymore.

Anyhoo…

UPS still isn’t here.

Sigh.

[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]