By John Moltz
February 14, 2025 2:00 PM PT
This Week in Apple: Sadvertising
Apple returns to the gutter, new ways to watch TV+ roll out, and Tim Cook teases an event.
All fixed
Terrific news, everyone. Apple has returned to advertising on the site formerly known as Twitter, which is now owned by someone.
“Apple Resumes Advertising on X”
Now, before you get your state-issued vaccine-free undergarments in a wad, this is clearly because everything that caused Apple to leave the platform in the first place has been fixed. Obviously. Why was it Apple stopped advertising in the first place?
The decision comes following antisemitic remarks that Musk made on Wednesday.
Oh. Well, there you go. Because since then he has, uh, apologized by going on to, um, shadow-run the entire federal government in order to implement a type of neo-apartheid. So, clearly he’s, uh, in a state of, um, contrition. Definitely safe to go back. Apple is obviously not just trying to take advantage of short attention spans.
Likewise everything must be fixed with TikTok because it’s back, baby!
“TikTok is back in the App Store”
The return follows US Attorney General Pam Bondi sending a letter to Apple assuring that it won’t be fined for hosting the app…
Well! OK, then! All is well? Who knows.
Remember when tech news was about gadgets? Man, those were the days.
At least the circuses are good
Let us put aside the unpleasantness and turn to the world of entertainment. Because… sheesh.
There was good news for Android users this week!
“Apple TV+ App Now Available on Android”
God as my witness, while I knew that turkeys could not fly, I thought this was already a thing since TV+ has long been on a number of television operating systems. Anyway, since TV+ is brand new for Android users, I think they should have to struggle through at least a few episodes of See like the rest of us had to back in the platform’s early days.
They tried something. It didn’t work, but they tried something, OK?
Meanwhile, Amazon has revamped the Prime Video app for the Apple TV, adding Siri Remote gestures, new search features, and other improvements.
It briefly looked like there was a real shocker: that Netflix had at long last added Apple TV integration to its app, as several users reported being able to add Netflix shows to their watchlists. Alas, a Netflix representative said this morning that was just a mistake. You know how that happens, when you code up a thing that you don’t intend to release and then you accidentally release it, creating joy for millions and then you’re like, oops, that was a mistake, and you yank it back? Yeah, you know what I’m talkin’ about.
Finally, big, dare I say huge, news in Apple Accounts: after years of suffering, people who have digital purchases on separate Accounts can finally (can I get a “FINALLY!”?) finally consolidate them into one. Finally. Be warned, though, that TestFlight apps do not transfer, so you’ll need to sign out of any betas and then sign back in on the account you’re migrating to.
Finally.
Tune in next Wednesday
Hey, I heard you like gadget news. Well, stay tuned because Apple appears set to announce some new hardware next week.
“Tim Cook Teases an ‘Apple Launch’ Next Wednesday”
If you’re wondering where he teased this event, he did so on a social media site owned by the nation’s new edgelord-in-chief. The name of which escapes me. So, that’s cool.
As the announcement does not specify a time, it is expected to be more of a press release type of event than a keynote-based event. A new iPhone SE is the odds-on favorite for the announcement but also possible are new MacBook Airs, iPad Airs, and regular ol’ iPad iPads.
Apparently tech companies are still making things and not just hastening the collapse of society. I mean, they are still hastening the collapse of society… it’s just… they’re doing both is what I’m saying. Walking and making the rest of us chew just the worst possible tasting gum, if you will.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]