By John Moltz
January 12, 2024 2:00 PM PT
This Week in Apple: Are you getting it?
Apple hits its Vision Pro target but Microsoft still comes out on top. And Apple is full of excuses.
Here we go, Vision Pro
If you’ve been living in cave the last week… well, that actually sounds nice for 2024. Is there any more room? But in case you missed it, the Vision Pro will officially go on sale on January 19th and be available on February 2nd. “Early 2024” indeed.
Still, you may have some questions. I know I do. Like, does the cave have running water? Trash and recycling service? But maybe your questions are about the Vision Pro.
Apple is ready for you. You can try one out at your local Apple Store. Don’t have a local Apple Store? That’s OK. You can probably fly to one and try it out and it’ll still cost you way less than buying one.
Think you’d rather go for one of the cheaper options just announced at CES? Hope you like disappointment.
Finally, if you’re worried about suffering from FOMO, I wouldn’t worry that much. You’re probably not going to know that many people who own one.
“Kuo: Apple Will Only Produce Up to 80,000 Vision Pro Headsets for Launch, Sellout Likely”
Sure, it was annoying when you knew that one kid in grade school who had the Kenner Millennium Falcon play set. But while a brand new one of those will set you back almost two Vision Pros these days, Apple headset prices are probably only going to come down in the next few years. Patience may be a virtue at this point.
Worth less
Time to stick a large, novelty fork in the side of Apple Park because the company is over.
“Microsoft Overtakes Apple as World’s Most Valuable Company”
Surely this is why Al Gore and James Bell are retiring as Apple board members. (Spoiler: it’s not.)
Apple does not allow directors to stand for reelection after reaching age 75, which means that both Al Gore and James Bell are retiring from the board due to their age.
OK, this maybe the one instance where the idea that we should run government like a business actually makes sense.
Still, time to shut Apple down and give the money back to the shareholders. And no shareholder could use the money more right now than Tim Cook.
“Apple CEO Tim Cook’s total pay drops to $63 million for 2023”
Tough times, man. Tough times.
Times infinity
Speaking of how Apple and Microsoft are, like Indiana Jones and René Belloq, “very much alike”, Apple’s responses to regulators these days seem straight out of Microsoft’s early 2000s playbook.
“Apple disputes EU rules labelling its 5 App Stores as one service”
Five?
The company in its argument to the EU competition enforcer said it operates five App Stores on iPhones, iPads, Mac computers, Apple TVs and Apple Watches, with each designed to distribute apps for a specific operating system and Apple device.
This is a real child-says-yes-he-can-take-trash-out-and-then-acts-innocent-when-you-notice-later-he-DIDN’T-ACTUALLY-TAKE-THE-TRASH-OUT kind of response. It’s also becoming a bit of a knee-jerk reaction for the company, as it previously said something similar about Safari.
“Apple Argued Safari Is Three Different Browsers to Avoid Regulation”
The company’s claim is based on the argument that Safari for iOS, iPadOS, and macOS are entirely different and serve different purposes.
It’s a browser, a browser and, uh, a browser.
Are you getting it?
Not really.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]